Balance

I believe life is all about balance. Where there is good, there must be some bad. Where there is happiness, there must be some sadness. Where there is laughter, there are tears which are mixed in.

This is certainly true in my life. I met Shawn because my relationship with Nick had fallen apart. I had moved into the apartment building and Shawn and I were neighbors across the hall from each other. I had only caught a glimpse of him - he was pretty quick to get in his apartment because he was pretty sick. I went on my merry way for another two weeks or so before we finally actually introduced ourselves to each other. I actually asked Shawn about it a month or so ago. My time of moving in was such a whirlwind, I couldn't remember when I had met everyone. I do remember, however, how I quickly considered him a friend. He was a wonderful shoulder to lean on and very easy to talk to. He untangled my 20+ necklaces that were thrown with disregard into a box and brought to me. I cried on his shoulder when finding out about other women.

It was almost two months after I moved into the apartment building that Shawn and I decided that we'd like to officially be more than friends. It's been refreshing to have him in my life - to have all the people I've met here in my life. I love that I'm in an open, honest environment. There are no shenanigans when it comes to my friendships. Even when I'm feeling cautious about telling the truth because I think "something is going to happen," I'm met with a "let's talk this through" attitude. It's a breath of fresh air and a balance in my life I really needed. I'm learning still I don't have to walk on eggshells.

Of course things aren't perfect. Everyone has their misunderstandings. When that happens, no matter who it's with, my inner child throws up her walls and screams, "RUN!" I'm still working on coming to terms on the fact I don't need to do that. I can talk it out with the people in my life. I don't have to be on the defensive. I have a wonderful balance in my life now.

As for that balance, I still know I'm not ready for any next steps. I'm not ready to move in with anybody, and I definitely know I'm not ready to jump into another marriage. I'm pleased with living with Bryan and Matthew, and I enjoy the time Shawn spends with us. We've done some great trips, and I love the memories we've managed to make.







The top three pictures are WI Dells, the bottom three are Las Vegas.

Until the next dirt...

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