New Quote

Holy shit, people, I made up a new quote. I'd better get credit for this thing as it makes its way around the internet. I even looked around to make sure this is original. I can't find it anywhere.

Are we ready?

You only need to learn a lesson once; otherwise, you haven't learned the lesson.

    ~ Amanda Poehls-Kilpatrick

OMG, apply this to so much of my life. Sometimes, very seldom but sometimes, I still wonder if I did the right thing leaving my marriage and getting divorced. Then Nick and I have to have an interaction, he treats me like he would rather never have met me, and I remember I've learned the lesson this time. If somebody who claimed to love you for over 26 years can behave like you matter less that what some stranger ate two nights ago, there was no love there. I don't know that person.

Now I wonder - deep inside of everyone I meet, are they the same as my ex-husband? Do they really not care? Do they rip apart somebody over and over again with one, dismissive look?

I am trying hard to move on. On May first it was a year since I had moved out. I think about this time last year and how I went to bed by 8:00 pm and was up by 7:00 am. It was a good 11 hours of sleep I was getting each night, and yet I was still exhausted. That first month after leaving was both exciting and draining. So many changes.

Now, more changes are going on. My relationship with Shawn is always evolving and growing. It's so amazing to be with someone where you can sit together on the front porch in silence, just being together without having to talk or feeling awkward. Then I get scared and wonder, did I learn the lesson?

I do love Shawn. He is a wonderful man. He accepts my life as it is, taking it on gladly with my rollercoasters and ups and downs. I'm so grateful he's allowed me to be a part of his life.

Until the next dirt...