I've Been Waiting a While for This One

My divorce was finalized on January 18, 2023. I stalked the website where our information was located until I saw that. When I did see it, I posted to my Facebook page, "Happy Un-anniversary Day to me!" It was like a setting free. All of this waiting is over. But is it?

There are still items we've agreed on I have yet to see. I figured there were some steps I'd have to take on my end, and maybe he was waiting on certain things until the divorce was final. I just shrug my shoulders and move on with my life. Curiosity does kill me at certain times, but I'm not married to Nick anymore, and I need to remember it's not OUR issues anymore, even if it does pertain to me.

Matthew and I will be moving into a three-bedroom townhome right across the parking lot. Bryan will be moving in with us. The move is supposed to be happening soon. I was worried about getting everything over from my apartment to the townhome, but I've been assured by my friends here I'll have plenty of help. I'm still recovering from shoulder surgery (almost three weeks out), and there's really not much I can do except pack and unpack with my left arm. I'm excited to have Bryan under my roof again. We're very easy going with each other. I'm sad to be leaving the apartment building, though. I really love my apartment. The trade-off is well worth it, and that's what I need to remember.

I am sad that Nick and I couldn't remain friendlier through all of this, but I did some immature things in response to the bull that he threw at me. After I left him, he accused me of dating in the months before I left. I was shocked and felt it necessary to defend myself. I was very hateful in some aspects of it. My relationship with Nick was not the ideal relationship everyone thought it was, but I sure the heck wasn't dating anyone. I was hurt he accused me of that and also that he wouldn't listen to me.

I feel like I haven't had closure on the ending of my marriage, and I guess that's something I'll just have to come to terms with. I have the VHS of my wedding video, which I'm going to have put on flash drives for all three of my kids. (Matthew was absolutely obsessed with the VHS tape.) I also have all of my wedding photos, which Matthew likes to look through, and I've saved my wedding dress because Tea wants it.

There's still this part of me that wonders if Nick and I were ever supposed to be married. It took almost five years before he proposed to me. We got married on our seventh anniversary. Should people really take that long if they're actually in love? I guess I'll never know.

Here's a picture of Tea in my wedding dress when she was young. She had claimed then she was going to wear my wedding dress one day when she got married. I tried telling her she would want her own wedding dress one day. These days, she's talking about how she's going to have my wedding dress altered and wear it for her wedding day. All the more power to her.


Until the next dirt...

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