It's Been Awhile

Hello, ladies and gentlemen! It's been about a month, and I've run out of things to say...well, things I can say at this point and time. What I'm giving you on this Valentine's Day is "A Cautionary Tale," which posted on February 15, 2021. People, I want you to be careful. Learn from my mistakes. But before I give you that post, I'm giving you this picture of a light that was on the roof of my cabin this weekend. I think it looks like a heart!

And now...

A Cautionary Tale

February 15, 2021

 I know how much everyone loves personal stories, especially when they're ones that make you gasp, so let me share a cautionary tale.

When I was 17, I was sent to a drug and alcohol rehab day treatment program. Mind you, I hadn't been diagnosed with bipolar disorder yet, and I was trying to regulate my moods with pot and alcohol. I was attending AA meetings. I met a man at these meetings one night. He was 24 years old, and I liked him a lot. He was easy to talk to. I went home with him three nights in a row, and on the third night I ended up having sex with him, which was actually my first time that I had sex willingly with someone. That's not the cautionary tale, though.

I tried getting in touch with this man the day after, and the day after that, and the day after that. There was no answer to my phone calls, so I stopped by his apartment. It was completely emptied out! He had disappeared without ever telling me that he was going anywhere. I'm not sure if he told anybody he was leaving. That's not the cautionary tale, either.

I was so upset that I went to an AA meeting that night. I met another man there, also probably in his early- to mid-twenties. I had relatively good luck with the other guy (never mind him disappearing without a trace), that when the new guy asked me to come over and watch a movie, I thought, sure, what the heck. I gave him a ride back to his apartment, and we went in. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and while in there, I looked in the mirror and said, "Amanda, if you get any creepy vibes, you are leaving right away!" I went back out to the living room, which had one lamp on, and we started discussing which movie we were going to watch.

We decided on a movie and he made popcorn. We decided to lay on the floor, and he told me he was going to give me a back massage. I told him that wasn't necessary. I was starting to get that creepy vibe. He climbed on top of me anyway and started rubbing my shoulders. He started talking about how he wasn't sober and was actually doing drugs. He told me how he had a lot of drugs under his bed and how people were actually hiding in his closet right now.

He eased up off me and flipped me over, then flopped on top of me again. He held my shoulders down and started telling me all the things he was going to do to me. Needless to say, they weren't pretty. I was scared beyond belief, but kept my wits about me. I calmly told him how he didn't want me; I had every disease known to man that I would end up passing to him because I was such a slut. After about 15 minutes of repeating how terrible I was, he let me up and I calmly walked out the door.

I ended up running out to my car. I drove out of there like a bat out of hell. I finally stopped about two miles away and opened my door because I thought I was going to puke, and by that time I was crying hysterically and couldn't see to drive any further.

I don't remember the drive home or if I was composed when I got there. I don't even remember if I told anyone about this. I do know I've never attended another AA meeting. It's not a place to meet men, I can tell you that much. I didn't realize that at 17.

What's the moral of the story? Don't go home with strangers, even if they seem perfectly normal. Don't sleep with people seven years older than you when you're a teenager. Don't sleep with people you've known for three days. Don't pick up people at an AA meeting.

Until next week's dirt!