What Have I Learned?

 I've learned many things in my time away this past week.

I originally went away to this writer's retreat because I was stuck in my writing and was ready to give up. I thought I had lost any talent I believed I may have possessed, if I even possessed any with which to begin. I was seriously doubting myself. I submitted a short story I had written, "Nathan," to be evaluated. I was proud of it, but hadn't received any feedback on it before. I wasn't hopeful.

The feedback I received at the writer's retreat made my spirits soar again. I was told it was an excellent piece and with a little cleaning up, I should submit it. I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go through it with a critical editor's eye, clean out all the mistakes in grammar and redundancy, and try submitting it to a parent's magazine.

I'm currently stuck on a book I'm writing. I'm three chapters into the book; those chapters pounded out like my muse was sitting at the keyboard instead of me. Then there was nothing. That's another reason I went to the retreat last week; I was looking for motivation. While there, I heard these wonderful words of wisdom (and I'm not quoting, because I don't remember the words verbatim): If you're stuck on something you're writing, write something completely different.

That struck a chord within me. I'm completely stuck on this book right now. I've decided that I'm going to write something different. I'm not going to say here exactly what genre that I'll be writing, but just know that I've got it planned out, I've started, and I'm excited.

I've included a few pictures of my trip for your enjoyment.

Zippel Bay

Lake of the Woods

Artist John Kakaygeesick

I highly recommend looking up the Kakaygeesick family and their art. Their story is also fascinating; there will be a book coming out by Jill Swenson about the family in the near future .

I also learned this past week that my actions have consequences, especially my actions from the past. While I'm not manic right now, my behavior isn't on track for what would be considered my norm. I feel like I'm finding myself with each year and becoming more free. Sometimes this worries the people around me.

What my behavior is like now can be perceived as too much relation to what I was like as manic in the past, and it can bring up bad memories. I have taken my inventory over and over, making sure I've been taking my meds, journaling daily, checking in with myself, asking how I'm feeling. I'm actually doing good, just changing as a person, growing and getting comfortable in my own skin.

I do feel horrible for what this brings up for others, but this is just me. And if you've read my previous posts, you know my feelings on life and the way things are - or maybe should be. I won't apologize for who I am or who I'm becoming. I love myself.

Until next week's dirt.