I Said I Wasn't Going To Talk About It...

Many of you know that I was in a relatively serious car accident on September 3rd. I said I wasn't going to say much about the car accident, other than my car was totaled and I wasn't at fault. For reference, here's a picture of my car:


I'm physically not doing the greatest. My body is pretty messed up, but I'm alive, and I'm grateful for that. My bipolar disorder and anxiety have been suffering as well.

The anxiety that I suffer right now is horrible. I can drive (Bryan is kind enough to share his car with me), but I have a panic attack whenever I come up to an intersection, especially the intersection where I was hit. I have nightmares, so I don't like to sleep. I've been forgetting to take my meds. I guess I'm hoping to go into a manic phase so that I can forget this whole mess.

When that guy ran the red light, was he thinking about the damage he could do to the other driver? What was he doing or where was he going that was so important that he had to affect my life so seriously? Was he even thinking?

One of my medical providers had a talk with me about remembering to take my meds. They said I'm entertaining enough when not manic. So I've been making a conscious effort to make sure to take my meds as prescribed.

I have to admit, I'm extremely nervous to drive up to my writer's getaway next week. Bryan said I could use his car to go up there. (Side note: he's a good son.) I'm also extremely excited to go, though. I got the updated itinerary yesterday, and it's busy, but it has plenty of downtime as well. I'll be able to get some work done, I'll be able to take walks or bike rides, and of course, there's plenty of time for writing. They have plenty of sightseeing planned. I have a special journal that I'll be bringing along for our writing time there. I also get to send in one of my pieces of writing for a one-on-one consultation. I know which one I'm going to send, and I'm very excited for it to be ripped apart!


Until next week's dirt...

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