Working and Disability

 Some people know that I'm on disability. I think I was about 19 when I was approved for it. I was unable to work at that time. I've worked on and off over the years, going off and on disability. Some of my jobs have been temporary, some have lasted a couple of years, and some of them have been hostile work environments and I couldn't handle them.

I've read that many people with bipolar disorder have trouble working because a workplace can be very stimulating. I agree with this wholeheartedly. I worked at Target - bright lights, babies crying, beeping of the registers, you get my point. I only worked there for the holiday season for two seasons, and that was long enough. I was instructed by my psychiatric nurse to work only 3 hours a day for up to 12 hours a week. By the end of my 3 hours a day, I was more than ready to leave. I loved working there, but after Christmas was done, I was ready to be just a guest again.

I knew that finding a job again was going to be a challenge. For one, my psychiatric nurse said I could start working at 10 hours a week. I thought, who's going to want to hire someone who can only work 10 hours a week? Two, my work history looks really spotty. I've raised kids in between jobs. I've been on disability. I've been in and out of hospitals. I've found that being forthcoming about these things in job interviews does NOT get you the job. And even after you've gotten the job, having my employer find out these things has been rather detrimental at times.

Until now. I have the best employer. I'm not sure if she knows I'm on disability, as it hasn't come up, but she is awesome about open communication. I have never had a working environment where I've felt so free to say, "Hey, I think I screwed something up," without fear of repercussion. Even at home I'm afraid to be an open communicator because I never know what the reaction is going to be. (That includes with my kids.)

It's the ideal position, besides having the ideal boss. It's 10 hours a week, which is just what my psychiatric nurse said I could work. The last time I talked to my nurse, she said if I'm feeling comfortable with the position and my mood is stable, I could add a couple more hours. So I've been keeping tabs on my mood and feeling out whether I can take on some additional hours. Honestly, I feel so relaxed about everything, I think I'm ready. I enjoy the work, which is your basic administrative assistant work. I seriously enjoy taking care of my boss.

My entire life I've just enjoyed taking care of people. I love that I have a position where I can do that. And how does it affect my disability? So far it hasn't. I'm about a month and a half into my job, and I've been feeling great. I feel like I'm more of a member of society again. I don't just feel like I'm taking care of my husband, kids, and home; I feel like I'm taking care of a piece of the "outside world" as well. It suits me. I'm happy.


Until next week's dirt...

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