Schedule

 When I write these blogs, it's at least a week in advance, sometimes even up to a month in advance. That's why I try to tell stories of the past, instead of what's happening that week or what has happened within the past week or so. But I figured I'd let you know how things have changed between the last post and this post, and what will be going on soon.

I got into a car accident on Friday the 19th. I was in the left turn lane at a flashing yellow arrow. There was an SUV in front of me waiting to turn, so I had my brakes on. A car hit me from behind. I never saw it coming. He backed up and sped off. My car received minimal damage, but I was pretty sore. I was amazed at the lack of people who stopped to help. There were about five or six kids who were at a nearby store who came running over to see if I was okay. Otherwise all the other cars kept driving or drove around me to continue making their left turns.

I managed to make a reservation at the Mercy Prayer cabin for the 31st, and I'm quite excited to go. I plan on writing and working on my college writing classes.


Nick brought me home the most beautiful roses last week. It was such an awesome surprise. 


I had a bit of a breakdown on Thursday the 25th. All these nights of interrupted sleep finally caught up to me. Nick woke me up before work and told me to be sure and get up because he didn't want Matthew being late to school again. After Nick left, I tried calling one sister, and it went straight to voicemail. I tried calling another sister, but she couldn't talk. Finally I called my mom. When she got on the phone, I started crying so hard that I couldn't talk. I was finally able to say that I was just so tired. My mom came over for the morning. Before Mom came over, I cried off and on. So what happened that led up to the breakdown?

There's the lack of sleep, for one. Two, I've gained about 15 pounds these past two months and feel completely horrible about myself. I no longer look in the mirror and think I look beautiful. Three, I feel like I'm unapproachable. I feel like I can't make friends. I feel like nobody likes me. And I don't know how to fix it. On Wednesday night it had all come to a head, and on Thursday morning after getting such interrupted sleep, I just couldn't take anymore.

Having my mom around helped. I don't know what I'm going to do when she's not around anymore. We don't always see eye-to-eye on things, but she's always there for me. She admires my honesty, and I admire her courage. And every day, as both of us get older, I just think more about how one day she won't be here anymore.


I had a few people ask me over the past week whether I was already at the prayer cabin. I wish I was. I really need to go. So I'm looking forward to going on Wednesday. I just may sleep for 18 hours straight instead,

Until next week's dirt...

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