It's Been a Year Now

 We've been in this pandemic for a year. On March 18, 2020, school was officially released and we started distance learning. In the beginning, Matthew did paper learning. He had a difficult time with it and wouldn't work with me. We figured out a way that he would work; he'd do an assignment, we'd play a game, he'd do another assignment, we'd play another game, rinse and repeat. Soon he had the therapists from the Minnesota Autism Center coming out, and he would work with them. The only problem with that was on the days they didn't come out, he wouldn't work with me anymore. Here he is playing a game with one of his therapists. It's so far and between that I see such a genuine smile on Matthew's face.

We also had to include the "extras" into our schedule: art, music, and gym. For gym we used to take walks down our road. We ended up taking a ton of walks in March, April, and May. Sometimes my mom would join us, sometimes Bryan would join us, and sometimes Nick came along. We were pretty serious about the six-foot rule, keeping pretty far apart.

Soon, though, the therapists stopped coming. One day, as Matthew waited by the door, his therapist just didn't show up. Apparently the Center had tried calling the week before to let us know that we would no longer be receiving services due to budget cuts because of the pandemic. They had only tried calling my cell phone. The towers were down for a few days, and they never tried calling the home phone or emailing me. So they just never showed up. Matthew waited by the front door for 40 minutes that Monday morning. I finally got in touch with the main MAC offices in the cities and talked to someone, and they explained what happened. I expressed my displeasure at how it was handled, and they let me know that he was one of three kids that was cut because he was doing so well. I explained that he was doing so well because of the services he was receiving. They told me that his services could be resumed when school started again.

We went through the summer, always expecting to be done with masks and quarantine. It was really hard on me to be away from people. I had my inner circle of my sisters and my parents/in-laws. I went grocery shopping every other week. I cried a lot. I was my happiest when I was able to go up to my sister's cabin. Just being near the lake made me happy. Being with a sister or two or more was even better.

I grew resigned to our situation over the summer. Matthew's behavior was either really good or downright horrible. Nick and I discussed what we were going to do for school in the fall, and we decided that we would have him participate in distance learning. We got him all set up for that, and it went over like a fart in church. He wouldn't participate in the classes, which were held online over iPads this school year. After a few weeks of trying distance learning, we got him back into the classroom.

Being back in the classroom was wonderful for both of us. He loved being back with his friends, and I loved the free time. I was able to clean my house without worrying if I was interrupting a Google Meet (not like he was participating anyway). Then just after his birthday in November, we went back to distance learning because the number of COVID cases in the county skyrocketed. I was devastated. I couldn't see fighting with Matthew over distance learning again. On the positive side, he would know all of his friends in the Google Meets. He did a better job of participating this time around, but wouldn't do homework and, frankly, has fallen behind in reading.

We had a nice Christmas, keeping the tree up from the day after Thanksgiving until almost mid-January. I needed something beautiful and bright in the house, and Tea and her boyfriend did a wonderful job on the tree. Tea was incredibly excited shopping for ornaments for the tree, dragging me out to Hobby Lobby (which I always swear I will never shop at for personal, ethical reasons, but seem to find myself at more often).

I decided with all this COVID-related crap and my suicide attempt last February, I needed to do anything possible to keep my sanity about me. I've started going away to a prayer cabin every other month. Nick and I have also started getting away almost every month to a hotel for a weekend away. I took photos of the prayer cabin I went to in the beginning of February this year. The cabin was called the Whisper Cabin, and when I was in there, I wanted complete silence. It was amazing. Normally when I'm at the prayer cabins, I want at least some sort of music playing. In the Whisper, I craved total silence.

In the beginning of the pandemic, Matthew was completely afraid of going out. He took the fact that we were supposed to quarantine seriously. Now we wear masks everywhere, and he questions me on why people don't wear them. We probably go out more than we should. I'll definitely get the vaccine when it's available to me, and I'll have Matthew get it, too. I'll do anything I can to protect my family.

Oh, yes, I finally caved and got a Spotify account, too. That seems important to mention. LOL

Until next week's dirt!