Gaining Independence

 Matthew really started gaining his independence once he started his early education program. For as big of a skeptic that I was about having him diagnosed with autism, I was very overprotective once he was diagnosed. It killed me when he went off to school.

Matthew really flourished once he started school; it was like he discovered that he could do all these different things. He loved helping his dad out in the garage. He pretended that he was wrenching on the truck that his dad was building.

Matthew and I used to go to Target all of the time. We had a routine when we went to Target. First we went to the bathroom, then we hit up Starbucks, then we did our shopping. When we went to Starbucks, we would get Matthew an ICEE. The first time I let Matthew fill up his own ICEE, I held my breath and felt like I was ready to jump in at a moment's notice. I remember how tense I was. I don't think I was breathing until that cup had its cap on and the straw was in it.

Once we figured out Matthew could fill up his own ICEE cup, it opened up a whole new world. We decided to give him more chores around the house. He was really resistant to doing them, but with enough persuasion, he would do them. One of the things he'll still do to this day is shuck some corn.

Matthew seemed to really enjoy being in the kitchen. His Aunty Holly loved baking with him, so Tea and I would bake with him sometimes at home. (Baking with Aunty Holly was more of a special thing, though, so Tea and I didn't do it very often.) Matthew and I made muffins sometimes, and he did love stirring up the ingredients, although he never did manage to get the flour mixed off the bottom of the bowl.

Tea and I attended Special Kids' Day with Matthew at a local farm every year. It was a day for kids with special needs. They had a bouncy house set up along with a corn pit, huge playground, and horseback rides. Matthew was so excited to ride a horse. Once again, it was something I was incredibly nervous about. I wasn't a helicopter mom, but my baby looked so small compared to these horses, and I had such a fear of horses! It made me feel better knowing that there were two people always with him, one who constantly had a hand on him at all times.

The best feeling I ever had, though, was the first time I saw Matthew buttoning up his shirt. He was always a master of taking off his clothes. He used to run around naked, or in a diaper or pull-up, all of the time. But one morning I went into the laundry room to find him buttoning up a shirt that he had picked out. Tears came to my eyes. It was then that I really realized my baby's independence.

Matthew continues to amaze me every day with the new things that he learns.

I'll see you on next week's dirt!